What a week! I say that and it's only Wednesday, but this week seems to just be heading down hill faster and faster. On Monday we had surgery lab, and it was a wreck!!! I had forgotten to watch the video before the lab so I had no idea what was going on. We had six stations which included draping the patient, learning to suture, practicing suturing, learning to scrub (ourselves), sterile patient prep, and knots and instruments. Suturing was a disaster! I got so overwhelmed by the terminology, patterns, and proper handling of the instruments tears sprang up in my eyes, and I had to hold them in. It only got worse as we went from station to station and I felt like I was surrounded by people who knew exactly what they were doing. The last straw was when we were at the last station and I accidentally used a scrub sink that was broken and wouldn't turn off. Luckily we had Dr. Baker for that station, and he had actually used the sink earlier himself, so I didn't feel so bad afterwords, but at the time it seemed monumental. As soon as we were done I grabbed Max and made I beeline for the car. Once inside I let it all out in huge wracking, gasping sobs of frustration, anxiety, and distress. Poor Max just held my hand and drove us home. He tried to talk about it but I just cried until I felt empty. When we got home I cried some more, and everyone pitched in to make me feel better. Things ended up alright, but I am still terrified of surgery.
Yesterday I had high hopes for lecture. We had 3 Zoo lectures which I was sure would be fun and enlightening. Once again it was an epic fail. We have a visiting professor and for the life of me I can't figure out what he is trying to get across to us. By the time the third lecture came around I was bored and thoroughly disappointed. Most of my classmates were vainly trying to listen, while others gave up and studied other subjects, Facebooked, or slept. At the end of the day I heard many students discussing how disappointing the lectures had been. I wasn't the only one who had been looking forward to some new insights. Pretty much the whole class was frustrated. Sigh. It makes me feel bad for our speaker. Especially when I heard from students at other schools that they had similar issues with his lecture style. He probably doesn't even realize his teaching style is a problem for students.
Friday morning is our Medicine Exam. Renal stuff, eeep. Hopefully it will go well. I have confidence, I just have to make sure everything is set straight in my mind. Anyways, time to get studying. Wish me luck.