A Down Day

Today is a down day. I have been really hungry the past few days, so this morning I treated myself to a nice big breakfast, but I felt quite guilty afterward. I also feel like a sausage stuck in my clothes, and I am very, very down about school.

This morning Max and I went to the vet school to visit two of our favorite vets. As usual I took a back seat while Max wowed the crowds with his easy manner. I don't know what I do wrong, but for some reason I just can't communicate with veterinarians, it's like I'm speaking a foreign language when they try to talk to me! If they try to talk to me, which they rarely do. Anyways, we were standing there and the vet of course, asked how our grades were, and weren't we both interested in internships? Max's grades are great, but of course mine are just shy of failing most of the time. Currently my GPA is a 2.41, stellar. I figured out a long time ago there was no possible way for me to get an internship after I graduate. People want 3.0-4.0, not below that, so basically, unless I get a job through my physiology teacher, I will probably be struggling to find work. As usual I feel like I have chosen the wrong profession. Everyone is always so excited about classes and mentorships and school, when I am absolutely terrified. I fail in the system, and from what I can tell, people aren't very forgiving of that.

I really wish I had made more mistakes in college. If I had, I think I would have realized that vet med wasn't for me. I would have figured out something else. But I was so desperate to achieve something worthwhile I ignored the truth. I was so busy thinking vet med was not a science, that it was about medicine and care that I was totally blind to the fact that I hate science and would have never pursued any of the classes if I hadn't been required to take them. SO once again I am left with the same old thought. I should quit vet med, but I can't, because I have already wasted $150,000.00 on it, and there is nothing else that is plausible.

Oh, and my weight/healthy living is not helping anything either!!!

Weigh in Day #1

And the results are....no weight loss. :( Which really sucks! I don't know why, but this week we will find out. Either I am not eating enough, or I am eating too much, so this week I am adhering to my 1400 calories a day, making sure I exercise with Turbo Jam daily, keep walking in the evenings, and drink more water. I am also going to cut back on salt.

The bad part is, I feel like I worked hard this week, yet nothing happened. I allowed myself some treats, I exercised hard, and I made pretty healthy meals. Still nothing though. I decided to change my activity level on calorie count to sedentary for this week as well, just to check and see if I overestimated my burn last week. I am also now entering all my info into calorie count so that I can ensure I am getting an honest look at what I am eating and my exercise. Sigh. Hopefully this will work and I will come out of this week a pound thinner. If not, next week I will up my calories and see if that helps.

Fun Food Day

Today I am making two new recipes! We are having tuna salad finger sandwiches for lunch and cold cucumber soup for lunch, and then we are making a tofu stir fry with scallion pancakes for dinner. Yay! I have been wanting to make the scallion pancakes for awhile now, but the cucumber soup just sounded great for a hot day. I did change the recipe a bit. The recipe came from the Good Housekeeping Light and Healthy cookbook.

This was their Cucumber Soup recipe:
2 medium cucumbers, peeled and chopped
16 ounces of plain yogurt
1/2 cup cold water
1 Tablespoon of lemon juice
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 cup of ice cubes
1/4 cup of freshly chopped mint

Combine all and puree until smooth in a blender. Easy peasy!

However, I have a problem with this recipe. I hate mint in anything other than desserts! I found this out when I made pea soup that called for mint, and ended up throwing a lot of it out. So now I usually substitute with something else. My spice of choice is usually garlic. So for this recipe I ended up using non-fat yogurt, and approximately 2 teaspoons of garlic salt (instead of the regular salt and mint). It tastes good, although the flavor is very light. I have a feeling I will be adding a few dashes of hot sauce to mine to spice it up a bit. The other good thing is this is a very low calorie soup! It only has 82 calories for 1/4 of the recipe! I have a feeling I will be making this as a snack whenever it gets too hot out. I hope to add a few pictures later, as well as more recipes! I'll update on the scallion pancakes later!

Soooo...the scallion pancakes didn't turn out so well. The entire recipe went well until it got to frying them in oil. I got the oil too hot and burned most of them. D'oh! The result was a charred outside and an almost raw center. Sadness. I have had several bad kitchen experiences lately. I made some brownies last week, and in trying to be creative I made them terribly average. I did find a good recipe for chewy chili brownies which I plan to post eventually. Yay!!! The stir fry we made tonight was luckily, a huge success! It was salty, sweet, and delicious. Not bad for an off the cuff recipe. So I guess the cooking scene for me right now is a bit dubious, but I suppose that is true for all "chefs" at some point or other. Anyways, hopefully future culinary endeavors will be more successful.

One more thing that went well today was exercise! Not only did I make it through Turbo Jam without stopping, but Max and I went on a long walk after dinner, boosting my burn. Yay! Now I just need to be good tomorrow and I will hopefully of lost a pound this week!

Weight Loss Weekly

Healthy living is enjoyable! I love the feeling of making good healthy decisions. I have been trying so hard, so long to lose weight for the wrong reasons. Now that I am finally trying to get healthy for the right reasons it is far easier than it was in the past. It took visiting Max's family in Reno to help me realize how much I missed eating vegetables, fruit and lean meat. It took time for me to realize that trying to stick to a strict exercise routine was not for me. Now I am eating healthy foods I enjoy, I exercise how I want every day, and I take walks for fun and health! It is really refreshing.
I was very gratified to learn when I returned from vacation that I actually lost weight! At least 5 lbs! So last Monday I weighed myself and I weighed 171 lbs. My goal is to be 165 lbs. by August 21st. Hopefully the weight will begin coming off easily, I am drinking more water and tea, staying active and trying to be conscious of my decisions. Good news! I am not starving myself like I used to! I am eating well, and exercising. I am remaining under maintenance and endeavoring to build muscle when I can. The next goal is to keep active even after school starts, and keep planning ahead with meals so that I can eat healthfully throughout the school year! I'll post my new weight after the weekend!!!

Things that Make me Happy!

Max (My boyfriend)
Ina Garten (So classy, so skilled, so relaxed!)
Hedgehogs!!! (So cute!!!)
The Woods (It's always good to get outside)
Baking! (Making people happy through delicious treats!)
Ice Cream! (We all scream for it!!!)
Sushi!!! (Especially all you can eat sushi!!!)
Jimmy Dean Commercials (The ones with the man dressed as the sun...:)
Wine!!!

More to come...

Pleasant Mornings???

Reno is a great place to visit! This year the temperature is good, and we leave our windows open at night instead of using the air conditioning. During the day the sun is hot, hot, hot! We have been staying in most afternoons though, reading or interneting. At night we have been eating outside and walking the dogs, which is really pleasant as there is a park nearby that is just the right distance. The mornings have been a bit intense though.

The jogging has been coming along. I can run 10 minutes before wheezing, so there is still plenty of room to improve, I feel confident though that I can at least finish Warrior Dash, especially if I really work hard when I get back to Kansas. It's been pretty tough though, and I am usually dizzy the rest of the day after running. Anyways, other than that the mornings have been good. We are staying at Max's house, and it is really pretty. In the morning the sun comes in and makes everything soft and beautiful. The garden in the back is wonderful and bursting with produce, and Max's family is really awesome. Now if only I had Twitch here.